How Does One Take the Leap?

Today I was looking through old pictures and I came across these two jems, and I had this interesting thought.....

Indulge me for a moment....

Some days I'm inspired and my mind is extremely motivated. But then I have days where I wonder how was I ever felt that way and I struggle with staying inspired and motivated. I'll have this genius plan of how I'm going to change a certain aspect of my life and then the next day I sit at my desk and wonder to myself, "What happened? Where did all those amazing positive thoughts go? What happened to the passion to make the change?". 

I think a majority of my life is spent in the position of the above photos. In the ready to launch position. In that position I am full of inspiration and motivation but I haven't actually done anything yet to make a change. And then sometimes, when I'm feeling brave, I lift my heels off the ground and I start laying ground work.

But how often do I get to this position?

Seriously though, how come I don't get to this position more often? I want to. But why don't I? I'm on this path to discover what is happening between photo two and photo three. Any tips??

The Long Yet Very Short Road Home

I know this blog was meant to be a record of my current adventures and experiences but many of you requested a more detailed version of my coming home from my mission and how I dealt with it. Excuse the length, a lot happened over a short time. Where do I begin....

So like I said previously, I was told I was going home and I just started crying. I was given 24-hour notice. Not a lot of time to adjust or prepare to go home. My companion, Sister Clegg, and I did our best to still work hard that day and get me all packed up. When Sister Clegg and I said our final goodbyes we cried on each others shoulders, and she told me to get back better and back to her as soon as I could. Now if you aren't familiar with how a mormon mission works missionaries are always in twos. And you and your companion are always together. Because of this you really grow close. And not only do you grow close as friends but you grow close on a deeper level because you are serving and going through trials together. Sister Clegg and I had become best friends.

Okay back to the story... I flew home and as I was walking through security I saw my parents and I started crying. I think it may be the only time in my life I've cried tears of sadness when I saw my parents. Not because I didn't love them but because I wanted to be back on my mission. Coming home wasn't as hard as I thought it would be but that isn't because I wasn't in a hard situation, it was because the Lord still had a work for me to do. I still had a purpose outside of the many many doctor appointments. As I mentioned in the previous post I was called to teach a class for all those preparing to serve a mission as well as work with the young woman in our church. I poured everything I had into those callings but still lived day to day as if I could return at anytime.

My first group of mission prep students.

Now if you are a member of the LDS faith or not something to be known is that it isn't easy for a missionary to come home before his or her previously set return date. Look at it this way. As missionaries we prepares ourselves in every way possible. Physically, mentally and spiritually to go and serve for 18 months or two years. We quit our jobs, put school on hold, tell our loved ones goodbye, all so we can go out and share something that we love so much with others, and then you're told you won't be finishing it. Now it isn't like they were sending me home for bad behavior but I still had moments where I felt rejected and unwanted. But that was not the case at all. Looking back now I know the Lord had a new plan for me. I know he meant for me to come home and have the experiences I had here.

So I was home and for four months I lived in limbo. Doctor appointment after doctor appointment. Outside of my classes that I taught I had no real purpose. I couldn't get a job due to the severity of my headaches, all of my friends were back in Utah (where I was living previous to my mission), and on top of that there weren't many people in my area my age that I knew. I've had many people ask how did you come out of this situation on top and so positive. First let me tell you I wasn't always positive. I definitely had my low moments, or as my mom calls them, fetal position moments, where I didn't get why I was going through this and let me tell you I wasn't proud of those moments. I had moments where I felt like a complete and total failure. I couldn't even finish 18 months, how was I supposed to ever do anything else hard in my life! But I'll get to the point...how did I come out on top.

I came out on top because on my mission I gained a deep love for my Savior and the Atonement, and learned that He has a plan for me, and that His plan was always better then mine. As I remembered that or was reminded of that during the low moments I was able to rise back up and push forward. I worked hard to remember that so I would have less low moments. I knew how I reacted to coming home from my mission was going to define the rest of my life and I wasn't about to let it ruin it. I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to who I was before my mission, that I wouldn't forget about all I learned in those few short months, and that I'd always remember Christ. I made sure I did the important things daily. I read my Book of Mormon every single day. When feelings of anger or thoughts of self-loathing came into my mind I reminded myself of what opportunities I was having because I was home that I never would have had elsewhere. Now I didn't do all of this alone. I had/have a great support team. I have a fantastic family that was very supportive and most importantly I had a mother who stood by me every step of the way. Who helped me through the low moments and was happy with me during the high moments. She never gave up on me. And then I had Jesus Christ. I felt His love on a daily basis. I felt it through my students, through my family and through the many blessings He brought into my life over the past sixteen months that I have been home. And of course I have to be cheesy and mention that if I hadn't come home I don't know if I would have ever met Sydney :). And many have also asked me about my headaches. No they are not gone. I always have a headache and have migraines on a regular basis. But you know the Lord has given me some serious strength so I can get on with my life until we find a solution to them.

So that is me, that is my story. If you are a missionary who came home early or anyone who overcame the odds during something really hard I'd love to hear your experience. If you have any questions or comments I'd love to hear from you. I feel so blessed and honored by the response I received from my first post. Thank you for joining with me on this journey.

Sister Clegg and I at the Columbia River Temple

Welcome to my Journey.

My name is Sierra and I'm living a life I never could have imagined, and for that I am grateful. I've always been a planner when it came to my life but all that changed May 2012. I had just graduated from BYU-Idaho and was living in Salt Lake City, Utah. I loved my life. I had great roommates, great friends and life was an adventure. But then I got an answer that it was time for me to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It wasn't part of my plan and after two months of struggling with this choice I decided it was time and submitted my papers.

 I was called on July 25, 2012 to serve in the Washington Kennewick Mission. Now this came as a bit of a shock to me because I was from Olympia Washington, but nonetheless I was excited. I was excited to serve the Lord and become one of His missionaries. I entered the MTC on October 10, 2012. About a month into my mission I started having daily migraines that made life as a missionary really difficult. After a month of doctor appointments, phone calls home, meetings with my mission president I decided I was done. Not done with my mission but done with letting my headaches be a hindrance in my life. I told my mission president I had accepted that I may have daily migraines for the rest of my life and that he wouldn't hear from me about them again. Three days later he called to tell me that they had decided to send me home for medical treatment and as soon as it was figured out I could come home. I was devastated. Once again there went my plans. I went home on January 19, 2013 with no idea what the future held for me but something inside of me knew everything would be okay.

Fast forward five months and we still hadn't found out the cause of my headaches. But the five months hadn't been wasted. I had been called as the Stake Mission Prep teacher, which helps prepare anyone in our area prepare to serve a mission. As well as a Beehive Adviser in the Young Woman program that our church has. Both callings were very humbling and I learned so much. I found I was still serving a mission. In the end of May my leaders and I decided it was time to move on and be officially released from my mission. It was bittersweet. I was excited to move on with my life and see what the future held next but I was scared because I had been holding on to my mission for so long. But the next week everything changed......

I met Sydney Easter. To avoid telling you the long detailed story I'll sum it up the best I can. Sydney and I were from the same ward. He moved in when he was 10 and I was 14. Yes you read that right, I'm older then him. Because I was older then him we never interacted let alone spoke two words to each other. The weekend I met him he was home from Boston for his brothers high school graduation and his dad convinced him to text me, much to my surprise. In fact when I got the text from him I had no idea who "Sydney" was. Finally I figured it out and agreed to doing something with him. I wanted it to be a short lunch or movie to avoid too much awkwardness. Well the lunch turned into a whole weekend of fun together and then he headed back to Boston. I figured we'd stay in touch and become good friends. Before I knew it we were talking every single day and he had planned another trip home six weeks later. The week before his visit home he surprised me with the news that he was moving home. He said it was time. Long story short we started officially dating in August 2013 and were inseparable, something I have never been in a relationship. He received his mission call a month later to the Mexico City East Mission leaving February 5, 2014. A long wait but it was the exact amount of time we needed. I grew to love him in a way I had only heard stories about and seen in movies. Waiting for a missionary was always a crazy idea to me and something I never planned on doing. Once again my planning was out the window. But I don't think of it as waiting. I think of it as living, growing, serving, loving, crying, laughing and preparing for our future. He has been gone for a little over three months and it has been an amazing journey so far. While he is serving the Lord in Mexico City, I am working as an Event Coordinator in Lacey Washington looking for my own personal adventures and opportunities for growth. I don't know if anyone will ever read this blog but I'm starting it with the sole purpose of recording our experiences and growth so that Sydney can read it when he comes home. But if I do have readers welcome to our two year journey of joy and struggles!