To Be Alive Is Extraordinary!

I've been having a rough couple weeks, which I blame myself for. I've been negative, neglecting myself and complaining a lot. Thinking I wasn't doing enough. My job isn't glamorous enough, I'm not changing the world enough, I'm not fit enough, I'm not stylish enough. Which is ironic because my blog's main focus is finding joy in the journey, "enjoying to the end". But I guess it only makes sense that I would have to learn the same lesson that I'm trying to share with the world.

But this week has been so much better and let me tell you why. I've been taking care of myself, being more patient, I've found my passion, and I've discovered if I do my best each day then that is enough. Tomorrow I can do a little bit better.

Found here.

Last week I was listening to a seminar by Tiffany Peterson, that reminded me of something very important. It hit me pretty hard. She was asking us to rate our confidence level on a scale from 1 to 10. Then she said I don't care what number you picked because you're all 10's. I thought to myself, "of course you say that, you make money off of telling people that". But then she continued to remind us of the time we've held a new born baby, if we have. To think of how amazed we were by this tiny little creation that has just come into the world. And as she explained this I realized "Dangit. She is right!"

The fact that we are alive and well is amazing! Just because we aren't finding a cure for cancer, teaching children in third world countries, or solving world hunger doesn't mean we aren't fantastic beings.

I was reminded of one of my favorite lines from "The Fault In Our Stars". If you haven't read the book or seen it, it is about a girl who has cancer and her relationship with a young man who is in remissions. When Augustus first hangs out with Hazel and is trying to get to know here he asks her this:

Augustus Waters: What's your story?

Hazel Grace Lancaster: I was diagnosed when I was 13...

Augustus Waters: No no no, Your real story.

Hazel Grace Lancaster: I am quite unextraordinary.

Augustus Waters: I reject that.

"I reject that." I love that line. He had only known this girl for maybe an hour and already he wasn't letting her sell herself short. I know I'm guilty of this. I'm the number one offender of saying I am "unextraordinary".

But lets think about this for a second....Who gets to decide what is extraordinary? Who decided that only if you're traveling, changing the world in the public eye, and have an extremely successful career means you're extraordinary?! Whoever it was must have been very convincing because I personally I feel this way sometimes.

Hazel may be a fictional character, but the fact that she is fighting cancer and staying relatively positive is pretty extraordinary to me.

I think the fact that my sister is raising three kids on her own is pretty extraordinary. 

I think the fact that my mother is putting her business aside to help my sister is pretty extraordinary. 

I think the fact that one of my best friends is staying strong on his mission despite family struggles at home is pretty extraordinary.

I think the fact that the youth in my classes are able to get through middle school and high school without succumbing to peer pressure is pretty extraordinary. 

I think the fact that Sydney (my missionary) was able to go on his mission without looking back because he believed it was right, without the approval of his mother is pretty extraordinary.

I can think of many examples of being extraordinary in my eyes, and I think you can too.

Lets simplify the world and start recognizing the true examples of extraordinary behavior. Lets take the pressure off of ourselves to become these "amazing" people according to the world's standards. Lets just see that it is great to be alive, in a world that is hard.

Lets be a little better today then we were yesterday, and know that is enough!

You Matter.

I can't not share this video. Especially after just writing a post about my "shame triggers". Colbie Caillat nailed it. And good for her! We try so hard to impress everyone because we want them to love us, but in the process of doing that we forget to love ourselves. 

We are so hard on ourselves, and when I say we I mean I am. I always leave the house thinking "this is as good at is going to get". Or I'll dress differently or put on more makeup depending on who I'm around because I want to impress them. I spend all this time doing it but at the end of the day that time could have been used learning to love myself, and serving others. 

I don't know about you, but when they started wiping all their makeup off they all looked so much happier to me. 

Now this is not me saying don't wear makeup, never get dressed up, don't care what you look like. There is nothing wrong with any of those things but if you're using those things to impress others and to cover up who you really are then they can be a big distraction. Like Colbie said, "Take a breath, look into the mirror at yourself. Don't you like you? I like you". 

If we all just understood who we were I don't think this would be a problem. I grew up being taught I was the daughter of a King, a loving Heavenly Father. And while I believe this is true, sometimes I don't fully understand it. Which is why I am so hard on myself and also on others. Because I lose sight of who I really am. I'm busy looking at others and wishing I was like them, but the days I embrace me and love me I am so much happier!

If we just believed and remembered it always, what a difference it would make in our lives. What a difference we would make in each others lives. The most powerful Being in the universe knows you perfectly and He loves you with a love that is greater then any love we could imagine. If that is true, then why don't we love ourselves?

Think about your life. How would you act differently if you understood that you have divine parents? How would you feel about yourself? How would you feel about others? I know that as you and I come to understand who we are and whose we are we will begin to see a change occur in ourselves, and we will be able to start being a part of a change in the world.

Do you feel like you don't matter to anyone. I promise, you matter to Him. You matter to your Heavenly Father.

*You Matter To Him by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
*We Are Daughters of Our Loving Heavenly Father by Elaine S. Dalton

How Do We Get Confidence?

Growing up I was always taught how important it was to have confidence and believe in myself. I never thought I had any confidence problems. In fact I specifically remember my dad saying, "Sierra the Prophet (the main leader of our church) taught us to raise our kids with confidence. You, have too much." I think this was after I told him he could not wear Crocs out in public. All in jest of course but he was partly right.

See, confidence was not in short supply in high school. 

Now this isn't to say I never have my low self-confidence moments. I just didn't really have them in high school. But about three years ago was when I realized how important confidence is in all that we do. I specifically remember the day. It was as chance in counter at my current job with a girl who wouldn't make eye contact with me, while near by was a group of cheerleaders. 

This girl had acne, a little heavier, I think even braces, but still a cute girl. I tried so hard to interact with her. Ask her how she was doing etc but she'd just mumble responses. I could tell from watching she felt uncomfortable near those girls. Now these girls were your normal cheerleaders. Small and peppy. But they weren't drop dead gorgeous by any means. But you could tell they were confident by the way they carried themselves.

This experience may seem small to you but to me, three years later it has not left my mind. And I will tell you why...

There are many things in life that can help us build confidence but I believe one of the many things is having a talent or skill. Having something that you know you're good at and with that having someone who believes in you.

 I had a best friend in high school who was a little bigger but was one of the most popular girls in school. She had a voice that was amazing, and a personality that made others want to be around her. She could have easily thought less of herself because of her size but because she had friends and family who loved her for who she was, and she had things she knew she was good at, she never let it bring her down. It was amazing to me. 

I have recently found this principle to be true for myself. When I am not growing my talents or I'm not surrounded by those who support me and build me up I don't think very highly of myself. So I've found that as I pick a new hobby to learn or start a project, something that shows progression, and as I get better at it my confidence increases. It is amazing. And yes, much of our confidence must come from the inside. We must believe in ourselves. We can help build that inner confidence by working on ourselves as a whole.

Now many people do not have a great support system, or have a support system at all. I can't even imagine what that would be like. Which is why we should all reach out to each other, love each other and support each other in our activities and dreams. We have all heard the quote by Plato,

So today I'm going to find something new to learn, or work on something I've left forgotten and I'm going to find someone who is in need of support in their choices, activities and dreams. What will you do to help increase your confidence and the confidence in others around you?